What the actual is my life.

I am seriously the worst at blogging. Since Isis came back it's kind of been a whirl wind of random shit that I've had to deal with for two weeks. Let me explain.

So, as you all know, Miss Isis was sent back early. I got a text from Emma saying that Isis was lame, on Monday, when she was coming back Tuesday morning.

Of course I go into freaking panic mode. My whole plan was to get Marebutt back into shape so she could be used in lessons or half leased or something and I'M SORRY BUT THAT DOESNT WORK WITH A LAME HORSE. I can't even. I will never send my horse away on a full lease again, not that Emma did anything wrong I just can't handle this. So I was in the process of getting a barn for Isis, working out money and applying for my masters AND working full time. 

Basically dying over here. Since it was almost October I just went into stress mode and ate everything in sight. Kind of, I've been working out, so it's almost okay. OKAY?!

Kelly (the new trainer) calls me on Tuesday because she can't find the barn and NONE OF THE CONTACTS WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE WILL ANSWER THEIR PHONES. So i'm at work, at a media event, trying to get my horse back into town and simultaneously trying not to lose my fucking shit. Luckily, because Kelly is the shit, she finds the barn and gets Miss Mare home in one piece. 

Cue three hours later. I skip the gym to get out to the barn to see Miss Mare. Trailer pulls up, I'm squeeing with excitement. Kelly easily unloads miss princess face and tells me how perfect she was to load and blah blah. I KNOW MY HORSE IS PERF. So off the trailer comes a complete fat lard, zero topline, three legged lame horse. 

I proceed to let miss mare relax for an hour or two and nom on some hay while I organize my mounds of stuff. Did I mention I'm the only eventer at this barn. THEY ALL THINK I'M CRAZY. JOKES ON THEM I AM CRAZY. 

Cue two hours later. I get miss mare out and start lunging her. Dead. Fucking. Lame.

Cue insanity here. 

I try to lunge her for a bit longer, hoping maybe she is stiff since she hadn't been ridden in a week or so. Nope. Still lame. In fact potentially getting lamer. When I say lame I mean LITERALLY TRYING NOT TO EVEN TOUCH HER BACK RIGHT HOOF TO THE GROUND LOOKING LIKE A FUCKING WEIRD ASS BIRD HEAD BOBBING KILLING HER MOM LAME. Cue dying.

I had Kelly come out and watch and we deemed it a possible abscess. So the farrier was coming out the next day so we would have him test her. Of course she didn't fail and he found no issue. 

Surprise farrier, I went out to the barn after work the next day and it was an abscess and it busted. So I packed and wrapped like the good mom I am. I tried soaking it in epsom and I'm just gonna say that Isis did not appreciate me trying to do that and tried to commit horse suicide. 

About a week later I finally get on Isis and she is a hot fucking mess. She has no balance, no manners, and no muscle. Poor fat mare. Of course everyone and their moms are watching and trying to tell me advice and shit and I just glared at everyone like...

So I slapped the hackamore back on her and she was a dream. Super light and easy. Since I'm riding without stirrups I get winded in like four seconds because I'm fat. 

One week after having her back and her being sound I posted two ads on facebook for a half lease and GOT MESSAGED ALMOST INSTANTANEOUSLY. I almost died. Not to mention she was actually cool about it. And knowledgable. WHAT SHES LIKE A UNICORN.

So everyone get used to hearing me talking about Sally. She came out and rode the Wondermare and fell in love. Miss Isis jumped like a dream even though she was fat and totally rose to Sally riding her and asking for miss fat mare to werk. 

sexy. 

sit dat trot sally. 

Bending omg.

beep boop.

look at me trottttt.

dat tail action.

Basically it's a dream come true. Sally is a boss ass betch and she fucking rocks. She's also hella cool and an amazing rider. I'm so excite. 

On a side note, I'm seriously sick of people asking if I named my horse after a fucking terrorist group.

But really. I didn't. Google Egyptian Goddess Isis. Her name means throne betches.

Until next time bloggers, this is me just trying to survive through life with a full time job and a horse. 

Sally might come out for my hack tomorrow so I might have some pictures of me actually on a horse. SHOCKER. 

love ya'll.